july 18th 2011...

talking about this day...

this day is a kind of special day for me..
First, i do blogging again.. yey ! ( can't stop talking about this..LoL)
and today,
it was my lovely sister 22nd birthday... awesome age isn't it?

BUT,
It feels bad.. because it was her first time celebrate it alone.. She's stay in Bali for a few months,maybe until end of this year or more.. enjoying her college internship in Bali island.. A gorgeous island to stay, but it was not a perfect place to celebrate some special occasion, ALONE...

If i being her in this time, maybe i drown myself to the deepest sea... (in indo, u can call me lebay mode on)... But sure, i would rather die than celebrate my birthday alone..without my family... esp without my dad... For me. it's a rare opportunity to celebrate, once a year isn't it?.. and in one case, i don't want to back to my old memory too...

i want to tell u my story.. when i was 12 or 14 years old, my dad and mom weren't come in my birthday party... they go to somewhere far away in that day...
i just cry and cry all day long... Before they go, they gave some money to my keeper or u can called it "servant" to buy me some delicious foods.. when the foods ready to serve, i just staring on it, cry all night long on the table...

its so dramatic and tragical... because i was too young in that time... terrible feeling, it's hard to explain..i only cry and in that time, i think that its the perfect way to solve it...but it affects me a lot until now.. when i grown up, now, until this time, i really don't like to be alone... Blogging is the perfect way to fill my time if i doing nothing or i will cry all day long..

Blog is my healer... I can share everything here..and forget all the loneliness..

Back to topic, my sister birthday, yup she's alone now...without family.. just some friends whose accompanying her.. I wish i have a strength like her...Be tough in everything even haven't nothing... She's inspires me a lot... she's imperfect, but she did the perfect way to treat me..

Overall,
Happy 22nd birthday, my sister nenita... this post dedicated to u... smooch :*
never stop supporting u there... Gbu